I struggle with insecurity. I don’t know when it started. I don’t know where it came from. All I know is that it is very real and can be very painful. Despite my conviction of the goodness of God, I still struggle at times to reconcile that with the way I view myself. I flip-flop between hours agonising over what to wear, how to do my hair and what makeup to use, to giving up on it all, thinking ‘forget it’, throwing on some leggings and a jumper, scraping my hair back and making no effort at all.
The thing is, it wears me down, keeping me from stepping out into amazing opportunities, going deeper with friendships, and enjoying precious moments of life. It keeps me from good habits and in bad habits, stuck in comparison and sometimes paralysing fear. And I know I’m not alone in this struggle. Yet, this isn’t how God designed us to live!
So why are we so consumed with the way we look?
Beauty is Captivating
We are drawn to beautiful things. We find all sorts of ways to experience, enjoy, consume, create, and even ‘sell’ beauty. Magazine covers, art exhibitions and performances, travel blogs, popular instagram accounts, we are obsessed with the beautiful. The fashion and beauty industry generates billions each year as we not only want beauty in our lives, but we also want to be beautiful.
Yes, beauty is captivating. But it is also right at the heart of God. We know God loves beautiful things because all around us his creation shouts of his beauty and his goodness. I love watching the David Attenborough documentaries as they explore some of the remotest and most beautiful parts of our planet. I cannot believe the complexity and the diversity of the beauty! And all of it, every single, intricate part of our planet was perfectly designed by our wonderfully creative God.
When he created the world, he created it beautiful – extravagantly beautiful! The way the sun rises and sets, the way light sparkles when it hits the ocean, or the dazzling brightness of waking up after snow fall. The majesty of mountain ranges, enchanting forests, vast oceans, white sandy beaches, quiet brooks, and mighty rivers. It’s astonishingly beautiful.
It is clear that God loves beauty!
And we gravitate toward beauty because God created us in his image, reflecting the beauty and excellence of the one we worship.
The Comparison Trap
But we have to understand and enjoy beauty in the way God designed us to. Like anything, that which God designed for good and for enjoyment has been twisted, warped and defiled by the enemy into something that can consume and trap us.
We can often look for beauty in all the wrong places and finding beauty (let alone holding onto it) can seem like an impossible task. We can try and fill this desire for beauty with money, power, influence, cosmetic enhancement, popularity, fashion. Or fulfil our need for validation in relationship after relationship, living and dying by what others think. And yet none of this seems to ever be enough to fill the void.
That’s because true beauty is not superficial beauty (the beauty of only the external appearance) that so often the world has reduced it to. External beauty without beauty of character is not beautiful at all.
“Like a gold ring in a pig’s snout is a beautiful woman who shows no discretion” (Proverbs 11:22).
We need to go back to the source of beauty – Jesus himself. This is where we will find the answer to the question “am I beautiful?”
True Beauty
God’s beauty is so much more than simply outward appearance. It is the inner unfading beauty “of a gentle and quiet spirit” (1 Peter 3:4). True beauty comes from the inner-most part of our being. It is the beauty of our hearts when they are peaceful, full of faith and trust in God, not striving or restless but confident in who God is and who we are. It is the beauty of our spirit when it is in alignment with his spirit and filled with his joy. It is Kalon beauty.
Kalon is a greek word used over 100 times in the new testament to mean beautiful to look at and good, excellent, precious, praiseworthy, noble, pure of heart, honourable. Kalon beauty is true beauty, something of a very high standard of excellence, because kalon beauty is a reflection of God himself. It is a reflection of all that is good, pleasing and perfect. True beauty is knowing that, despite the broken world we live in, with God it is well.
Beauty is Powerful
This kind of beauty is powerful. Think about it – we are drawn to kalon beauty. Think of the most beautiful person you know and how you feel when you are around them. A person of true beauty is secure in who they are, is confident in their purpose, is kind, is honourable, is hopeful. And they invite those around them into that security too. They speak comfort and peace. They speak love and truth. In their presence, the worry, the fear, the pressure that we so often face is loosened, and we can just be, delighting in the truth that God loves us and he is good. It’s as though their inner beauty reveals and illuminates their outer beauty.
Beauty beyond the visual is influential, inspiring others to become more beautiful themselves. If you have ever observed someone reaching out to help a person in need due to sickness, adversity, cruelty or mishap, you are witnessing beauty. And it often inspires us to reach out to others ourselves. There is something about these selfless acts of kindness that touches the innermost part of our being, our souls, deeply. This is beauty in action. And when we see it, we understand that we are observing something wonderful – something greater than ourselves.
Beauty invites us in – it draws us towards. It nourishes our souls, comforts our hearts, and inspires our minds. In the same way, God is drawn towards beauty. He is enthralled by us (Psalm 45) and he delights in us when we cultivate gentle and gracious inner beauty (1 Peter 3:4-6). This beauty will look different for each person. Because we were all created uniquely and reflect a different facet of the enormity of God. But it all begins with living beautiful.
Called to Live Beautiful
“Be careful to live [kalon] lives among your unbelieving neighbours. Then even if they accuse you of doing wrong, they will see your [kalon] behaviour, and they will give honour to God when he judges the world.” – 1 Peter 2:12
As daughters and sons of God, we are called to live a life of beauty so that no one can make any valid accusations of us. A life of kalon beauty, of excellence, of honour, shines as a beacon of hope for those around us. Being a follower of Jesus is so much more than law-keeping. It is a way of life that attracts people to its beauty, pointing those who don’t know Jesus towards him.
The bible teaches us in 2 Corinthians that when we choose to follow Christ, we are a new creation and make the commitment to spend our lives pursuing his plan instead of our own. Our old lives have gone and a new life begins. God is the potter and we are the clay (Isaiah 64:8). We are giving Him the permission to craft us, to mold us, to smooth out our rough edges, and form us into something beautiful (Ecclesiastes 3:11).
We all have areas in our lives that we both want and need to change: damaging habits, dangerous addictions, unholy language, the way we speak to people, negativity. But the only way that is going to change is when we have a transformation of heart and start to think in a new way.
“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” – Romans 12:2
When we change on the inside, it manifests itself on the outside. Putting our lives into the hands of our Heavenly Father is the beginning of that change of heart. Our journey with God begins with us surrendering ourselves completely to his will, handing everything we are and have over to him (John 3:30) and He begins to restore us, the real us, back to who we are created to be. He gives us back our true selves.
2 Cor 3:16-18 says “But whenever anyone turns to the Lord, the veil is taken away…where the spirit of the Lord is there is freedom… And we all who with unveiled faces reflect the Lord’s glory are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory…”
God is unveiling who we are so that we might reflect his glory. The more of God’s we become, the more ourselves we become. Our true self. The woman, the man of God he had in mind when he created us in his image. Because we were created to display the beauty of our creator. The beauty of his glory.
The journey we embark on is a delicate balance between choosing what is good and yielding what is damaging, yearning for more of God and relinquishing what isn’t His, pursuing His plans and, where it doesn’t match up, giving up our own. Although at first glance it appears there is a lot to be lost, there is far more to be gained (Philippians 3:8). God’s desire for us is always good and His benefits are too many to count (Matthew 6:26-33). God has saved us and is saving us still as we are being transformed evermore into the very image of Christ (2 Cor 3:18)
God is at work in us and God is at work for us (Phil 1:6). As we ask him daily, He continues to craft his beauty and presence more deeply into my soul, into your soul.
Own Your Beauty
Is it bad to take care of the way we look then? No! Is it wrong to wear nice clothes or have a nice hair cut or enjoy wearing make up? No! Presenting ourselves well, eating a balanced diet, exercising and staying in shape are all good things. We can enjoy external beauty but not at the neglect of cultivating internal beauty and we must not become consumed by it.
God would rather us work on becoming beautiful on the inside – the kind of beauty that lasts forever. He expects us to stay in shape spiritually by spending time with him, reading our Bibles, praying, going to church regularly. This is the solution to the problem of insecurity – to become fully immersed in his presence allowing him to make us more like Christ.
We must allow Him to be the final word on our worth. Because we are highly valuable. We are beautiful. We are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:13-14). Jesus was not insecure – he knew exactly who he was and his worth. And as we trust him, as we fix our eyes on Jesus and become more like him, we will too.
“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things.” – Philippians 4:8
Thank you God that you created me fearfully and wonderfully.
Help me to see myself and those around me in the way that you see us.
Holy Spirit please continue to transform me by the renewing of my mind and help me to live a kalon life that points people to Jesus and reflects your glory.
Photo by ian dooley on Unsplash
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